Oblivious & Blind
Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
John 14:6
I feel like like I’m in the preschool of the School of Life under the majestic leadership of God. Weird to even say that. Happened last year, 2023, but that’s a story that will come another day.
I wrote these random thoughts back in February of this year when I was just beginning my walk with Jesus. Didn’t even know what that meant actually. But I was starting to wake up.
After I chose to get baptized a new friend I had just met from my church told me that her life changed dramatically after she was baptized. I had no idea what that meant. I’m beginning to get it now (5 months after I originally wrote this post). No wonder all of the new people I was meeting at church were so happy for my decision to be baptized. They knew.
At church the morning of my baptism I met another new friend when I introduced myself to the woman sitting behind me; her name is Alberta. When I got to church that evening (where the baptism was taking place) Alberta greeted me with a hug and a gift. I was taken aback in a wonderful way and so grateful. I was also oblivious to the importance and sanctity of being baptized as a follower of Jesus…a child of God. She knew. I most certainly didn’t. At the time I was floudering on my walk with Jesus. I was just figuring things out and I was in the trenches of the nightmare that began November 2022.
So here goes… thoughts from then, 2 months after my baptism on 12/4/2023. My birthday into God’s family.
2/19/2024: Christianity is like a not-so-secret society of people who live among us. The general population (myself included) has an inkling of an idea that God exists (some more than others), but they don’t think about God too much… sort of irrelevant to them because they’ve been baptized, or not, and haven’t done anything too bad… so they’re going to heaven which is a place “up there” where the people who lived before us go, and where God lives.
We’re told it’s a beautiful place, but we’re afraid to go since we’re not sure it really exists (we have to die first, of course). So, if it doesn’t exist is that just THE END? That’s the big question.
Plus we think that we’ll miss the people we love and share our lives with because as a human being living in this moment we can’t imagine our lives without the people we love in our lives. So some people (in my world anyway) might perceive God like someone they know of, and aren’t too interested in having a relationship with (too many other things to concern themselves with) until they’re in trouble… which is when they may reach out to God for help. That was me.
I was definitely a full fledged member of the deluded general population who felt that the pleasures of earth were the ultimate goal. I never thought of God, and in fact got annoyed at religion and scoffed at people who were born-again Christians. I thought they were weird. I was so arrogant it makes me feel gross to think now about my judgements then. Sorry, God, I was blind and ignorant.
I was so wrapped up in my humanness and so blinded by programming that I was arrogant, prideful, judgemental, opinionated, cynical and so much more that I can’t even think of at this moment. All the things though. It makes me sad and ashamed that I was like that.
I’m beyond grateful that I finally found Jesus, and that he rescued me in the deepest sadness and despair I’ve ever experienced, or could even have possibly empathized with if it hadn’t happened to me. The end. For today.
There’s more…
More
Thoughts: October 2024
My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?John 14:210/1/2024 Whenever I get freaked out about life, all of it... especially the yucky thoughts, sadness, worry, and things that make me...
Thoughts: My Understanding of the Bible.
Then He opened their minds to understand the Scriptures.Luke 24:459/8/24 These are just my thoughts, nothing else. But I want to get them out of my head and written down so I can organize them in my brain so they will hopefully make more sense. I know the premise is...
Books: Brother Lawrence. The Practice of the Presence of God.
In the past God spoke to our ancesters through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days He has spoken to us by His Son, whom He appointed heir of all things, and through whom also He made the universe.Hebrews 1:1-2 We should establish...
Thoughts: Voice Memos
From this time forth I make you hear new things, hidden things which you have not known.Isaiah 48:6 (RSV)9/8/24... I decided a few moments ago to break out the laptop and work in this journal which is dedicated to Jesus and my love for Him. Figured I'd go through my...
Notes: Hebrews
In the past God spoke to our ancesters through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days He has spoken to us by His Son, whom He appointed heir of all things, and through whom also He made the universe.Hebrews | 1:1-2 When God speak of a...
Thoughts: I Have Questions….
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God...and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith. James 1:5-6 8/30/24... As I'm going through putting all of my notes into this journal I've come across a few places where I wrote down questions I have, and things I...